“I don’t want to sound all Pollyanna, but …”
Most of us have said this at least once or twice in our lives, right? It got me thinking … what’s so wrong with sounding a little Pollyanna? Why do we roll our eyes and assume the worst?
Most of us have a vague notion of who Pollyanna is or at the very least, we know the connotations of the name: someone who is optimistic, always looking on the bright side of things, cheerful. Well that sounds alright to me! I believe that this little angelic adolescent is more multi-dimensional than her bowed blonde curls would suggest. There are Fifty Shades of Pollyanna. Therein lies the problem.
Pollyanna: the perky orphan
Pollyanna is the title character in a 1913 novel about an 11-year-old orphan who, along with her father, created the Glad Game as a way of coping with hardship and crappy situations. To play the Glad Game is to find something to be glad about in any situation, no matter how bleak. The following is a modern day (hypothetical) example for you.
One day early on in the pandemic when people were hoarding things like it was the end of days, I found myself sitting on the toilet for a good long while. I was three courtesy flushes in when I realized I was out of toilet paper. Panic set in. My chest got tight as my vision began to blur and close in on me. Then I remembered precious little Pollyanna and her Glad Game. I put on a happy face, shrugged my shoulders and said out loud, “I’m glad I live alone!”
Thanks Pollyanna!
Pollyanna Plus: a step too far
Introducing Pollyanna Plus. She is generally perceived as naïve, floating around in an ignorance-is-bliss state of mind. We tend to view her kind with a cynical, condescending eye. Donning her favorite pair of rose colored glasses, she is the person who is rapturously happy and always smiling, no matter the situation in the world around them. Upon meeting a Pollyanna Plus, you might wonder what’s hiding behind that big shit-eating grin and googly eyes. Likely, she steals stuff from 711 for fun.
Pollyanna-wannabe: avoid at all costs
Pollyanna also has a dark side. You know you’re dealing with this Pollyanna-wannabe when the person attempting to show you the bright side of things is patting your head as she says, “Well at least you have _______.” It’s not helpful and in no way acknowledges the pain or frustration you may be going through. Brene Brown aptly calls this “silver lining-ing” a situation. It looks something like this, “Uh-huh … yeah honey, I know you cry every day before walking into your soul-crushing job, and those pesky homicidal dreams are keeping you awake all night and you’ve maxed out the dosage of every anti-depressant known to man, but at least you have a paycheck.” Right. And I’m going to use that paycheck on some kickboxing classes and a pair of Doc Martins, so I’m prepared for the next time I run into you!
So what’s wrong with sounding a little Pollyanna?
I say nothing! Just keep in mind the multi-dimensional nature of Pollyanna. We all have the choice of which shade of Pollyanna we want to embrace. We can get some brand new rose colored glasses, the “transitions” kind with varying degrees of rose, and play the Glad Game every chance we get. OR we can obliviously blow sunshine up everyone’s ass in a not-so-helpful way and risk running into Doc Martin-wearing kickboxers around every corner.
Choose wisely.
Love it, Noelle! I’ve been guilty of most of those shades. But my fondest memory is of Hayley Mills stringing crystals in the parlor window in the movie Pollyanna. I have them in my windows to this day, just to remind me (not to be too Pollyanna-ish;) that there’s always a rainbow somewhere;)
I’m sure we’ve all gone to the dark side of Pollyanna at some point. I love your crystals and their rainbows! Sounds just about the right amount of Pollyanna! 🙂
I see the main difference between Pollyanna perky and Pollyanna plus as generating your own optimism vs. feeling it forced upon you. As a teacher I’ve been on the receiving end of those doc martins after attempting the latter! Beautiful metaphors Nellie! Can’t wait to read more! ❤️
Thanks so much Pammy!! Every time I hear myself say “at least” I cringe inwardly. Sometimes it stops me, sometimes it doesn’t. I love being human! 🙂
Love this Noelle! I knew and loves a true Pollyanna who still inspires me every day to be like her. I work rose-colored glasses to her funeral and it was beautiful. The Pollyana-Wannabee is who I run into all the time, in my own head. She gets the Doc Martin kicking every day and keeps coming back for more. I love being human too. Thanks for keeping it real!
I’m so glad you enjoyed it, Terri!
Pollyanna. My all time favorite movie when I was a kid. And yes, I’ve been accused of being a “Pollyanna” several times. I’m definitely more of the optimistic type. However I’ve had enough rain in my life to know that being “glad” all the time just can’t happen! Great piece Noelle! ❤️
You and I are so alike in so many ways, Audrey. Here’s to being optimistic even on a rainy day! Or at least giving it our best effort! Thanks for reading!
I am so lucky to have a mother as passionate and talented as you. Your voice is as strong as it is hilarious, and I’m immeasurably proud of you. Every day you teach me something new about the world, and myself.
The Pollyanna in you has no doubt passed to me; your uncompromising optimism is something I’ll always look up to, and is the reason I know the future is bright.
I love you.
You are my motivation, kid. I hate to plagiarize, but …
I am so lucky to have a son as passionate and talented as you. Your voice is as strong as it is hilarious, and I’m immeasurably proud of you. Every day you teach me something new about the world, and myself.
The Pollyanna in you has no doubt inspired me; your uncompromising optimism is something I’ll always look up to, and is the reason I know the future is bright.
I love you.
This is totally brilliant, Noelle. I enjoyed every word of it!
Wow, thanks Erica! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!
Nellie, call me anytime you run out of toilet paper and I would be happy to rescue you, even if I laugh at you a little and borrow your lipstick. I also love walking in the rain with you, especially in your ridiculous hat. Love you!
I’m glad that I have you and the boys to drag me out of the house these days, even in the rain! I’m also glad you like my hat!
PS I’m now addicted to the glad game!
XOXON
Hmm. I don’t think I am too Pollyanna-ish, but I do look for the “cans” to replace the “can’ts”. Whether it is for myself or a friend. Knowing and showing someone their strengths always helps us both. If I can be their cheerleader, more warm cockles for me!
The Pollyanna in me wants to say that any one of these shades can be beneficial in some scenario. hahaha Averting disappointment in life has become an artform for me and maybe an addiction. Great illustration of some shades, girl. Its nice to spend some time thinking about this phenomena. Thanks for sharing your site with me, N!!!