This is the inaugural installment in the ongoing series I’ve titled, “I’m sorry … what?” It will contain the stories of interactions with colorful people that have left me speechless for a beat, before blinking a few times and muttering, “Uh … I’m sorry … what?” The honor of being my first subject in this series goes to a woman chosen for her conviction to stand up for what she believes in, and because I crack up every time I walk into a Walgreens thanks to her.

Sunny California, 2015

It was the end of November, by all accounts a beautiful day in sunny California, as I stepped out of the Cedars-Sinai Oncology Tower. The sun was bright, and I closed my eyes for a moment to let it warm my face. Unfortunately it couldn’t do much to brighten my mood. My mother and I were in California to do whatever we could to support and love on my younger sister Sara who was starting her first round of chemo to battle her recently diagnosed lymphoma. She had fallen asleep and Mom was there, so I took the opportunity to walk across the street to Walgreens. I was in desperate need of a Twizzlers fix.

The building is on the corner of Wilshire and Doheny, a big four lane intersection. I stood on the corner waiting for the light lost in my own head with thoughts about my Sar Sar, and feeling like I always did when I visited LA … as pale as a dead fish on the sidewalk. The light changed and I darted between turning Range Rovers on my way to the Walgreens on the opposite corner.

Walgreens, Beverly Hills

Much to my surprise, the Beverly Hills Walgreens is pretty much like every other Walgreens. I think I was expecting valet parking or an open bar or something special. It had a wide staircase leading up to the front entrance, I decided that special enough. Crouching in the shade to the right of this grand staircase was a rail thin woman in a pair of off-pink “PINK” sweatpants and a used-to-be dark colored hoodie.

With the hood up, her face was obscured by the ratty faux fur that hung by threads along the edges. She had her trusty shopping cart full of belongings at her side. Taking the steps slowly, I noted that her shopping cart was not a Walgreens shopping cart. I wondered if it would be considered in poor taste to park your Walgreens shopping cart outside the Walgreens. She didn’t register my presence in any recognizable way, so I decided not to stop and ask for clarification.

Once inside, I made a beeline to the candy section and grabbed my big bag of strawberry Twizzlers. From there, I meandered up and down the aisles pretending I was looking for something, Grey Poupon perhaps? In reality, I just wasn’t ready to go right back up to the chemo area of Cedars. I was sad and scared, and more than a little mad at God for allowing this to happen to my sister.

When you feel helpless, help someone else

Making my second pass down the toilet paper/cat food/toy aisle, I remembered something that I had said many times before, to others as well as to myself. When you feel helpless, help someone else. I decided I would buy some food for the lady outside. I’m always tempted to get candy for people because that’s what makes me happy. She could probably use something a little more hearty.

I mulled over the refrigerated section for a minute trying to decide on the best of the crappy sandwiches. After much deliberation, I landed on a ham and swiss on white bread. Practically skipping up to the register and out the front doors, I envisioned the gratitude and joy this woman would experience when I present this magnificent gift of food that I had picked out just for her.

At the bottom of the grand staircase, I made a wide left and came around to face her, outstretched hands offering the sandwich. “Hi. I bought this for you,” likely not hiding my typical do-gooder excitement. Face still hidden by the hood, she reached out and grabbed the clear plastic container with two leathery hands. She held it up to look at it from all different angles. She let out a little “how dare you” huff, shoved the container back at me and barked, “I’m vegan!”

I’m sorry … what?